On Apple

A long long time ago (read: less than half a year ago) I was, what the kind and understanding people on /wg/ would call a macfag. Yes, I was one of those people you see in coffee shops, shiny white rectangle on their laps, typing thoughtfully away on NeoOffice in the hopes that some passing hipsterchick would think I was writing a novel and be so totally moved by my obvious charm and sophistication that she would instantly want to start making out with me and- etc etc etc, point is that I was one of those people. It was not long before that however, that I was much much worse. Before that I was one of those people who worshipped Apple. I was, I struggle to admit, an Apple fanboy.

 As with most things, I'll be fucked if I can remember exactly when it started. I do remember that my first experience of a mac was an old G3 PowerMac one of the friendly looking green ones before Apple had an identity crisis and went totally brushed-steel-Orwellian. I didn't like it. The interface was irritating, and I wasn't about to learn an entirely new operating system when I had my mums laptop. Then the laptop broke.

And so, already a child of the Internet, I needed some method of feeding my NeoPets and generally sucking at Runescape (I know, I know. I was young). So I ventured forth into the world of OS X.3. And no, not 10.3. That's what the fucking "X" in OS X stands for. Anyway. I quickly found that my initial misgivings about the OS were mistaken. It took a little getting used to, but I learnt to live without the right click, to have the 'x' button on the wrong side of the window. It was the kind of brief disorientation you get when driving in Europe for the first time. I would imagine. I learned the ways of the Mac, and grew to love it. Eventually I found myself with OS X.4, G4 PowerMac, and the original iPod Mini. Then one Christmas, my parents got me my old faithful companion, my G3 MacBook.

This white box of comparative power marked the climax of my fanaticism. While I had 'converted' a few others, I was the one known as The Mac Guy. And I loved it. I was spreading the good word. Microsoft was evil, and Apple were the valiant good guys, struggling against an unjust foe.

This almost happened, more than a few times.

At this point I had the two original PowerMacs, long since out of date, but still chugging long when I needed them, a G5 iPod, aka the iPod Video, and of course my dear MacBook. It was around this time I was learning about the incredible brevity of 'current' technology. I was aware that my MacBook was quickly becoming out of date. OS X.6 was a while off but I could see the anticipation. Now, those who know me may have picked up that I am definitely one to mentally anthropomorphize my electronics. You yourself may have picked up on it with the adjectives  I've already used. I felt sorry for my Macbook, but still I yearned for the newer models. I just couldn't get them. I was a poor 6th form student. I didn't have a job and I certainly wouldn't ask my parents for the money, out of a mixture of pride and knowledge that thousands of pounds was way to much to be asking of my parents. So I sat, actually happy with my MacBook. It was slowing down but it still served me faithfully, like an old dog, to old to go running with you, but still content with the leisurely walk down the street, only occasionally falling into heartbreakingly amusing seizures that it just gets up and walks away from (The metaphor still makes sense to me, don't worry).

And so I learnt another lesson of technology. Yes it is always changing, always advancing, but that doesn't mean you -need- all the advances. Not just yet anyway. I also got my first inkling of Apple's true nature. You see, before the MacBook, money hadn't actually ever changed hands for our Macs. We had been given them through some means or another (legally, I hasten to add). When I first realised the 800 odd £ price tag of even the cheapest Macbook, I vowed to look after it, to draw from it the entirety of its monetary worth and more. When they just kept getting more expensive, I was confused. I reasoned, they're small, they need the money. But a niggling thought insisted but they're not small. The iPod has launched them back up into the ranks. So I had my first doubt. But I was stalwart. Microsoft was the fucking devil and I would not succumb.

Things didn't get better. By now the iPhone had been released, and Apple were fucking dominating. Yet Apple continued to disappoint. My MacBook broke and they were charging fucktonnes plus the cost of a new hard drive to repair it. News came of Apple not being entirely scrupulous with their business dealings, or some shit. Bullshit lawsuits and problems with apps and stuff.

Long story short, I lost my faith. I still loved my little MacBook but its parents were douches. I vowed not to get the overpriced iPhone and iTouch (Which I will continue to call it just to piss people off), and looked upon people who did with a vague superiority. Apple have lost it's old message, becoming a money grabbing, slightly dictatorial monster with a humourous mask. You know, to make it "User Friendly".

Then I just didn't care.

Earlier this year I got a new laptop. I cost me £500 odd and has better specs that the cheapest Mac laptop. I gave my MacBook to my sister since it only really functioned properly anymore for what she needed, email, Facebook etc etc. I couldn't just get rid of it. It served me well for 3 years, give or take. When she gives up on it I'll likely ask for it back. Not because I love Apple but because it did serve me well.

I'm writing this now from the new laptop. Windows 7. It is, as has been said, what Windows Vista was meant to be. Again it got a little getting used to. And it works. It does for me what my MacBook did, and better. Obviously it will, it's newer. But I've used OS X.6 and it's not much different. It's full of features that, if you're going to use them, are great. But I won't use any of them. I need better music creation software than GarageBand supplies. I don't need iMovie, I don't need iPhoto, because there are better alternatives out there. I still use iTunes, but have found very worthy substitutes in Foobar2000 and Songbird. Most of Apples own products assume that you are an Apple Fanatic simply because you own a Mac, and want to fork out the money for a .mac account. Windows is an operating system, while OS X is a constant advertisement for itself.

Both do what you want them to do. They just have different approaches. I've used both, and even dabbled in SuSe, Ubuntu, and Mint. For now, for simple sheer ease of use, Windows 7 has my vote, though I may try and Dual Boot it with a Linux OS at some point. But somewhere along the way Apple lost me. They became what I used them to avoid and drove me back to something that, as it turned out, wasn't as bad as they said.

It occurs to me that much of this sounds like a religious awakening. In fact, the process does ring slightly of my transition from hardcore Christianity to Atheism. That's part of the problem. Technological fanaticism becomes like a religion. The two sides see the other as misguided, even evil, and neither will back down. Apple has taken this and even started adapting it into it's employees. The first page of "Job Opportunities" has in bold "Part career, part revolution". Revolution? Excuse me, when did a fucking electronics company reach the ranks of Che Guevara? Just because the same kind of people who parade your overpriced tech around also sport those exploitative Che T-Shirts everywhere does not qualify you to call yourselves fucking revolutionaries.

It's hard to remain neutral. Believe me, I tried. But look at what I've got to work with. Again, I'm not saying Microsoft or any other software company are blameless.  Linux fans can be just as fanatical. But when an employee assessment questionnaire starts asking questions like:

you have to start asking questions yourself.

I shall try to conclude. I like computers. I like the Internet. Any method that allows me to use them I will have a soft spot for. I just think that while all computer companies realise this, Apple are even more exploitative than most. It's not a question of good versus evil. Its just a question of choosing the lesser evil.

 Or just go ahead and choose the ultimate evil. You know, for kicks.